


oh, i wonder

by qtyeonj



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kim Sunoo Was So Pretty That Sunghoon Kinda Lost His Mind, M/M, Oblivious Park Sunghoon (ENHYPEN), Park Sunghoon Is Whipped (ENHYPEN), can i pls make that a tag, flustered sunghoon, self-infulgent again bc i wanted to feel something, side JayWon, sunghoon wanted to kiss sunoo, that's all u need to know, written in lapslock btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29533782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qtyeonj/pseuds/qtyeonj
Summary: there were many things peculiar about sunoo, this, sunghoon’s realised. but there’s one thing in particular that he wants to unravel from all of its knotted ends, eventually indulging in it. he hopes that by the end of it all, he’s managed to discover the in and outs of sunoo, and perhaps have the sun in his hold.or in other words, the 5 times park sunghoon wonders, and the 1 time he doesn’t.
Relationships: Kim Sunoo/Park Sunghoon, Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	oh, i wonder

**Author's Note:**

> *makes grand entrance*  
> i wrote this whilst simultaneously ignoring the piles of homework i have but wtv lol  
> this is shorter than i initially planned but i wanted to get this out on sunsun day, so alas, here i am  
> see u at the end, i have more to say there  
> also if u see typos, pls ignore :D
> 
> chapter 1 title is from 'the shining' by the neighbourhood

— 1.

just like everyone else, kim sunoo liked all things pretty. he liked the pretty flowers that dot the pavement as he walked home from school, or the stars that littered across the navy blue sky like stardust. he liked the  _ pat, pat, patting  _ of his face powder on his cheeks, or the way his lip tint colours his lips red.

sunoo himself, wasn’t anyone new to being pretty. if you asked sunghoon, it seemed as if sunoo was just  _ born  _ pretty — completely unfairly attractive. the kind that makes sunghoon’s brain turn into fuzz, and his heart feels like it’s hitting the ground. 

“sunghoon-hyung, do you think this colour suits me?” sunoo raises one of his chapsticks to sunghoon’s eye level, letting the older boy inspect the colour. sunghoon’s eyes dart from the chapstick, and back to sunoo’s lips. his cheeks are burning, and he knows that his eyes are lingering onto the boy’s face. he bites the inside of his cheek and nods, watching as sunoo smiles and thanks him.  _ strawberry,  _ sunghoon reads the label on the small tube of colour. a sudden thought sparks in his mind; one that makes sunghoon want to jump into a fiery pit.  _ what… what would that taste like?  _ he huffs, his lips have gone dry and so has his throat — sunghoon wished his brain pitied his frail heart for a moment. perhaps that singular thought was an excuse to wonder what sunoo’s lips would taste like against his. he shakes the intruding thought away, but it doesn’t help that his eyes follow the way sunoo puckers his lips to apply the chapstick, and sunghoon shys his head away.

it’s common knowledge amongst their friends when it comes to sunghoon’s crush on the younger boy. he’s always followed things by the book; never done things without thinking it through over, and over again. he’s rational in that sense, no room for abnormality. sunghoon supposes it stems from his years of figure skating; from the skating routines he practices repeatedly without rest, to following his coach’s words in complete detail. but sunoo makes him want to sail off into the sea without a map, moreso without a compass. he makes him want to jump into the unknowing abyss that is sunoo himself, and never to arise. and that scares him, but at the same time, it grounds him. because no matter how haywire his mind goes when it comes to sunoo, no matter how much this feeling  _ terrifies  _ him, he wants to know and  _ feel  _ all of it.

he never indulges in the unknown, never crosses a boundary that’s never to be crossed. sunghoon’s been called closed off; hard to approach even. yet sunoo — sunoo’s the opposite. he’s like a magnet, attracting people to him like the ebb and flow of the ocean’s waves against sandy shores. he says things straightforwardly, and approaches you if you peak his interest. and sunghoon — sunghoon’s blunt, but sharp; just like a jagged sword. he only ever says what he  _ thinks  _ he should say, never anything uncalled for. he’s quiet, and only turns loud whenever he’s with his closest friends.

“so? what do you think, hyung?” sunoo’s pointing to his lips now, curious eyes peeking beneath his bangs (sunghoon has overheard the younger boy telling jake that he needs to get a haircut soon, but he prays to god sunoo doesn’t. his hair is pretty just the way it is). it’s not like the bright red of his lip tints, or the pale pinks of his lip glosses. though, sunghoon’s not sure he’s the best judge. afterall, he believes that anything looks good on the younger boy no matter what. “it suits you. plus, it matches with your hoodie too!” sunghoon hopes sunoo doesn’t notice the way his voice croaks a little from the dryness of his throat. sunoo looks down to inspect the colour of his hoodie; it was a birthday present sunghoon got him a year ago. it’s one of sunoo’s favourite, and wears it as often as he could. “really? i’m glad then, hyung.” his bright grin mirrors the one on sunghoon’s face.

the older boy finds himself returning to his previous thoughts: what  _ does _ it taste like? he mentally punches himself for wondering it again — though, what could he do? he’s a teenage boy after all; his emotions are hanging on a loose thread that’s beginning to unwind. sunghoon tries to forget it and focuses on his friend, falling back on sunoo’s bed. “what are you doing hyung?” sunoo’s sitting next to him now, and sunghoon watches as a hesitant hand reaches upwards towards his head. it’s ghosting over the tips of his hair, and sunghoon intakes a sharp breath. but before he could even  _ savour  _ the thought of sunoo threading his fingers through the soft locks, the younger boy pulls his hand back. “are you tired?”

sunghoon’s staring and him, eyes blinking slowly, and sunoo isn’t sure what he’s to make of it (his face is unreadable, and it seems as if sunghoon’s not thinking about anything at all). he sees the way sunghoon’s studying the contours of his face with his eyes; sunoo feels almost small under his gaze.

sunoo  _ knows  _ he can be a little dense. jay has told him this before; he’s gullible — innocent-minded, even. he’s easy to fool, and his obliviousness sometimes gets in the way of things. but sunoo isn’t stupid. in fact, he’s quite intelligent himself, and this sunoo takes him in stride. so it really  _ doesn’t  _ go unnoticed when sunghoon’s eyes trail down from the chocolate of his own eyes, down to the side of his face, and to the pale pink of his lips. he sees the way the older boy gulps the sudden lump that’s formed in his throat. his heart’s pounding so violently in his chest that he could barely breathe, yet it isn’t unwelcomed. for a moment he hopes, it’s blinding and his chest clenches. 

but sunghoon looks away,  _ pulls away,  _ and sunoo can’t fight the disappointment that rips apart that shred of hope.

“hey, we should go. the others may be looking for us.” there’s a hint of despondency laced with his honey voice, yet sunghoon isn’t entirely sure why. he shrugs it off, stands from where he was sprawled across the bed, and heads towards the door. “you’re right. i don’t wanna hear jay give us a lecture on being late to our hangouts ever again.” sunoo laughs at this as they head out of his house. they’re walking side by side, shoulders only an inch apart. there’s a certain feeling of longing that grazes the back of sunoo’s hand as he walks, and he registers the hand that lightly,  _ accidentally,  _ brushed against his. sunghoon pulls his hand closer towards himself, mumbling an obfuscated apology. it hurts, because he’d do anything just to have the sun at his grasp, within his hold.

_ it’s okay,  _ he thinks, as long as he keeps his distance and understands his boundaries, there’s no need to expose the way his heart races the same way a car speeds through a race track.

“hyung.”

“yeah?”

“can i hold your hand? mine are really cold,” sunghoon shifts his attention to the younger boy, watching the way he wriggles his fingers in front of him in attempt to warm it up a little (sunghoon doesn’t need to know how this is just a plot sunoo created to give him an excuse to hold the skater’s hand). he nods wordlessly, afraid that it’ll unveil the shakiness in his voice. his palms are getting clammy, and he sincerely hopes that sunoo ignores it. sunoo brushes his hand against sunghoon’s first, hesitant, but he later grabs it in his, slowly threading his fingers between the other’s.

and maybe, just  _ maybe,  _ sunghoon wishes that sunoo’s heart leaped the same way his did when their fingers touched (it did. it most certainly did).   
  


if anyone noticed how sunoo was gripping sunghoon’s hand so tightly within his that his knuckles were turning white, no one said a word.

(news flash: their friends positively noticed this. honestly, it was difficult not to. considering the way that sunoo refused to let go of the older’s hands, using the weather as an excuse at gripping it tightly, it was hard to not let your eyes catch sight of it. especially when it’s obvious that the two boys in question were literally in love with each other. thus, they began devising a ploy — call them masterminds, but they’ve had enough of the longing gazes and lingering touches that the two shared. they could only hope, that they manage to push the two of them enough that it actually ends well.)

— 2.

there’s some things sunghoon’s discovered about himself over the course of the week: one; he’s absolutely  _ so infatuated  _ with sunoo, that every inch, every  _ corner  _ of his mind is nothing but the boy. it’s concerning, really — heeseung mentioned this before. he’s always looking for him, searching,  _ seeking  _ for sunshine (just the other day, sunghoon pestered them so much on sunoo’s whereabouts that heeseung told him to ‘shut the hell up’ and actually  _ read  _ their group chat instead of keeping it mute. had he done that, he would’ve found out that sunoo was sick that day, and wasn’t coming to school. sunghoon’s learnt his lesson, and now regularly checks the chat the very second sunoo sends a text).

two; he’s got a lot of guts for a guy who isn’t even sure his feelings are reciprocated. here’s the thing: the moment he began pondering over sunoo and the boy’s current obsession with his chapsticks, he’s found that he can’t stop his eyes from trailing down his face and staring at sunoo’s lips. it’s  _ really  _ bad — absolutely terrible, and sunghoon fully believes that he’s genuinely deluded. and these days, sunoo looks as if he has a halo over his head; like a spotlight assured that he was the main character and decided that sunghoon’s already frail heart was to suffer. 

he’s lost count of the amount of times wherein he goes into tangents and begins mumbling whenever he’s talking to sunoo, leaving the other boy completely perplexed.

“sunghoon-hyung, you’re hopeless. so  _ fucking  _ hopeless. like, i  _ genuinely  _ wanna bang your head against the wall to maybe knock some sense into you, you know?” jungwon flails his hands in front of him in exasperation. “god help me, if i have to sit here and listen to sunghoon gush about sunoo for another second, i’m going to do something  _ so rash,  _ that i’ll land myself on national television,” jay lifts a hand up, and lightly smacks sunghoon on the back of his head. the skater hisses, eyes narrowing and glaring at his friend. sunghoon doesn’t think he’s that bad, is he? he’s sure of that — maybe. “aw, don’t be so mean guys. not gonna lie, it’s kinda cute. must be nice to be in love,” jake replies, his voice turning dreamy towards the end.

just then, sunoo waltzes into the room, both niki and heeseung to his side. he has his signature grin plastered across his face, and sunghoon’s heart is accelerating steadily. he’s waving his arms wildly as he makes his way towards the group, taking a seat right next to sunghoon.

“so, what are we talking about?” sunoo fishes a small tube from deep beneath his pocket, humming once he finds what he’s searching for. it’s another tube of chapstick, and sunghoon’s barely managed to read the label. his eyes catch sight of the other boy’s face from a side glance, then down the curvature of his cheeks, and to his lips. it’s quick; only a subtle darting motion before he moves his head and pretends as if niki’s reenactment of heeseung tripping over air was the most interesting thing in the world. but jungwon takes heed of this, and a manic grin spreads across his face; akin to a cheshire cat’s own. 

if there’s one thing yang jungwon enjoys doing, it’s teasing sunghoon in front of sunoo until the skater’s face is a deep, currant red.

“we were just talking about sunghoon-hyung’s crush, weren’t we, hyung?” panic takes over sunghoon’s calm features as he watches the boy in front of him prop his chin up on a palm and smirk. at his side, sunoo’s pretty smile turns into a forced pressed of his lips; thin, and his eyes aren’t glittering the same way it was a second ago. “we— what? um…” sunghoon’s former ability to be articulate in the way he forms his words have been long forgotten, and the only thing his mind could focus on is the almost forlorn expression gracing sunoo’s face. “oh, were you?” sunoo gulps at the way his voice sounded strained and phony — as if the way his voice went up three pitches higher than usual wasn’t already a dead giveaway. “no! i… they were just teasing me!” the incredulous tone that sunghoon let out was enough to grab the attention of their other friends, who were now seemingly enthralled at the conversation that spiraled a flustered park sunghoon.

seeing sunghoon stumble over his words and his calm demeanour shattered into pieces was a rare sight; though, not so much for their friends. there wasn’t much that could shake up the suave persona that the skater embodied. except for sunoo. he was the exception, the only one who’s managed to bulldoze through the high walls that sunghoon’s built around himself. sunoo was the only person that sunghoon’s ever allowed to witness any vulnerability that he’s withheld for a certain amount of time.

as such, they suppose it made sense that sunghoon would inevitably fall for the human personification of sunshine.

“you should’ve heard him earlier sunoo, he was literally having an entire  _ breakdown! _ ”

“jay, i swear to god, if you don’t shut your damn mouth right now,  _ i’ll  _ shut it up myself.”

jay puts his hands up in surrender at the deathly glare that sunghoon sends his way. sunoo’s lips are lifting slightly at the corners, but there’s still an aspect to it that’s forced and sunghoon is definitely clueless. heeseung butts in and prompts the boys to stop teasing sunghoon for a while, and for a moment it feels like sunghoon had a heavy weight lifted off his chest.

dropping the topic of ‘sunghoon’s massive crush’ served as a catalyst to a much,  _ much  _ more boisterous conversation (long story short; it involved a scheme and bet that ended with jake losing).

however, there were two people that seemed to be caught in their own world.

“sunghoon-hyung, let’s go ice skating together.” sunghoon blinks at sunoo, his mind not comprehending the words that just left the younger boy’s mouth. “i thought you hated ice skating? you said that the last time we went and you fell backwards.” sunoo only shrugs, pursing his lips in determination. the skater’s eyes lingers on it, but clears his throat before his mind begins to wonder on that thought again. “i wanna go with you. last time we were with the others, so can we go with just us two?”

sunghoon was intelligent. he truly was. he excelled especially in the sciences and literature, and was capable enough to tutor his juniors. his teachers always dubbed him the ‘all-rounder genius’, as he seemed to have a knack for most things academic wise. but this;  _ this  _ was different. it wasn’t as easy as knowing the simple fact that your capillaries carry blood throughout every part of your body, or the intricacies of classical novels such as  _ the little prince.  _ it was much more complex, much more confundling. he deduces that he wants everything to be as understandable as the triple axels that he etches onto the sheet of ice during his 7 am training, or as sequential as folding a paper crane.

it’s really not that simple. and it’s even  _ worse  _ when your brain thinks of nothing but that  _ single  _ desire to press your lips against one of your best friend’s.

“sure, we could go this saturday after my training if you’d like? we’d be the only ones at the rink though. is that okay with you?” they’ve lowered their voices to a whisper, sharing secrets that only they could understand. sunoo’s grinning, no longer fabricated or forced, and sunghoon wonders, how can the sun shine this bright? they’re engaged in a more quiet conversation, a stark contrast to the bubbling laughter that niki’s letting out, or the shrills that jake’s yelled. 

this is what sunghoon always liked about sunoo. sunoo was always  _ loud,  _ extroverted. and sunghoon was always  _ quiet,  _ introverted. but he was gentle; in fact, sunghoon argues that sunoo could be a lot more reserved than he was. there were certain things that people didn’t know about sunoo:

one — you shouldn’t let his innocent aura fool you. he’s definitely much more than that. once when they were five, sunoo managed to convince everyone in their school that he grew flowers in his hair. now, all he had to do was smile, crinkle his eyes and tuck a little bit of hair behind his ear, and suddenly everyone was at his will. sunghoon found this amusing, but it struck a little close to home. afterall, sunoo had him wound tightly on his finger.

two — sunoo never did something unless he was absolutely sure he could do it. he was similar to sunghoon in that sense; doesn’t climb a wall they know they could never reach. but at the same time, that’s where they differed. sunghoon never takes a dive at the deep end if he knows it’s too deep, but sunoo does. he does it with every ounce of persistence he could muster, but when he knows his feet aren’t reaching the ground, he rises up, takes a breather, and sometimes, he tries again. more often though, he doesn’t. because what’s the point when he knows it’s not going to end well? though, at least he tried.

and sunghoon wants all of that. he wants the sharp edges of sunoo’s personality, his direct and sometimes blunt words,  _ everything _ .

“remember that time when we abandoned them all at the amusement park just to ride the ferris wheel on our own?” the sunshine’s giggling, and sunghoon’s breath was caught at his throat. “it was a fun time, and honestly, we should do it again.” sunoo’s laughing full heartedly now, and sunghoon finds himself joining in. his eyes are lingering on the younger boy’s face as their laughter dies down a little, and he couldn’t help the way his eyes trails over sunoo’s lips. these days, he’s noticed that sunoo opts out from using his tints and glosses, and chooses his chapsticks instead.

sunghoon isn’t complaining. never in a million years.

“wow okay, it seems like we’re intruding on your little date.” the two boys break eye contact for a little while, bringing their focus to heeseung’s snickering face. sunghoon sneaks a glance to his left, only to find that sunoo’s cheeks are tinted with rose. “not our fault we got distracted by our own conversation. unlike you guys, but i’m sure neither of us fancy getting cake all over our face and clothes,” sunoo tutts, before continuing, “i spent time trying to look pretty, and i’m  _ not  _ about to let five teenage boys ruin that for me.” 

ah, he messed up.

sunoo watches as niki smirks, swipes a finger on the chocolate frosting from the cake in front of him, and dots it on the apples of the older boy’s cheek. “nishimura riki! you did  _ not! _ ” as such, one act of defiance towards sunoo led to a full on cake war — one that had each of them covered in different types of frosting from head to toe.

— 

later, when walking on his way home with jungwon, sunoo inquires about the conversation that halted upon his arrival. “what was that about? with sunghoon-hyung’s crush, i mean.” jungwon’s wiping the frosting off his forehead and hands with a napkin, grimacing at the oiliness of his skin. “oh that? well, you’ll just have to ask sunghoon hyung about that, now won’t you?” sunoo sighs, heavy and deep in thought.

sunghoon was unreadable, but sunoo wants to read every single page of him — irrationalities and all.

“you’re insufferable, you know that right?” jungwon only gives him a knowing smile. “i don’t even wanna know anymore. i’m scared i might get hurt.” they at the bus stop now, both of them having long given up on cleaning themselves up (sunoo’s feeling impatient that day, and wants to get home as soon as he can just to have a long shower). jungwon doesn’t answer for a moment, lets the air around them settle into a mild tension. “if you were given the chance to know though, if he himself told you — do you think you’ll still feel hurt?” at that, sunoo hums in thought. “it depends, i suppose. whoever it is though, they’re lucky. sunghoon-hyung’s the sweetest guy i know. it must be nice to be loved by him.” he adorned a sad smile on his usually smiling face, but jungwon only smiles back at him knowingly.

“incorrect! jay-hyung is the sweetest.”   
“shut up jungwon.”

jungwon giggles at his friend, wrapping an arm around the older boy’s shoulders. “sometimes, the truth doesn’t hurt as much as you think it would. i’m not telling you what i mean by that, because this is something you should figure out on your own.” sunoo pouts in response, but doesn’t say anything else. jungwon’s right — as much as sunoo wanted to disagree. he has to figure this out on his own, no matter the outcome.

**Author's Note:**

> aaand you've reached the end! i hope this was okay..?  
> i'm planning on making this multi-chap, so sit tight besties, it's gonna be a fun (and maybe long) ride  
> do bear with me when updating this tho, it's only gonna be 3 or 4 chapters  
> anyways, see u next time !!
> 
> find me on twitter: @qtyeonj  
> send me whatever in my curious cat


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